If You Just Believe
by Javelin the Silent One
Summary: A lonely night in Palmacosta, Lloyd Irving has a nightmare...and one man begins the painful road to healing. Oneshot, please R&R First ToS fic3


Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia. Really, quote me on that. And take of that maid outfit, it's kind of creeping me out. Really. On this same note, I don't own "Believe," by Josh Groban, from the Polar Express. CASE CLOSED!!!! Bring in the dancing lobsters!!!!

MONKEYMONKEYMONKEYMONKEYMONKEYMONKEYMONKEYMONKEYMONKEY

AUTHORESS SHPEEL!!!!!

appears in cloud of smoke I am the mysterious…HALFLIGHT!!!! points finger at audience. Take your pick from any of the five. And I shall teach you the famous recipe…naaah, I'm just joking. I mean, I can cook…but I don't want to. Haven't felt like doing anything but bumming around since the end of the semester and eating pizza…piiiizaaaaaaaaa….

…SO! I finally beat Tales of Symphonia!! Love me, people!!! LOVE ME MADLY!!!! I absolutely loved this game. Colette and Lloyd are so adorable!!! Sqee!!! And I love the relationship between Kratos and Lloyd. It's actually the kind of relationship I wish I had with my parents. Distant, yet loving in its own way. And so I've been reading some cute Kratos and Lloyd fics, and one was a song by Charlotte Church and Josh Groban. Now, this reminded me of yet another song….

And so, after about four hours of labor, this fic was born. Enjoy it.

SALTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED PEANUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTS!!!!!!

Summary: (One-shot) A cold night in Palmacoasta, and Lloyd is having trouble sleeping. One man dares to take him in and comfort him, and in doing so, begins the long long process of healing and making peace with his bloodied past….

Rating: Um…PG, just to be safe.

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If You Just Believe

By the Light of Half!!! (Comes with batteries!! 3)

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Children sleeping

Snow is softly falling

A silent night, pregnant with gentle yet bitter winds and soft promises of a sprinkling of snow; the perfect environment for anyone to sleep peacefully, without abandon, with dreams as gentle and sweet as the sound of snow falling.

He wishes he could sleep, but the itching at his back only reminds him of his immortality, of what he has given up. Like the Chosen, he can no longer call upon Morpheus as an escape from reality…so he only revels in the nighttime sky, on the moon and the far-away surface of Derris-Kharlan.

He is also the only one to hear the agonized scream from down the hall.

From Lloyd's room….

He strides from the sheets whose warmth he cannot feel, into the hallway. Colette is there, and looks back at him.

"Kratos—"

"Go to sleep, Chosen," he urges. "You need your rest. Tomorrow we leave for the Thoda Geyser."

"But Lloyd…."

His voice is soft, in another time, and warmth diffuses through him. Memories he has for so long restrained are coming back, trickle by trickle.

"I will tend to him…."

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Dreams are calling

Like bells in the distance

"Lloyd."

The boy starts, looking up at Kratos. Even from here, he can see the boy's tear-stained face…his disheveled hair…and the look of uncertainty and trust in his eyes that hurts most of all.

"Kratos—j-just allerg—" He is stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder.

"A nightmare, Lloyd Irving?" The boy looks away, his eyes slitting in shame…anger…what was it?

He looks back up, his expression unreadable to the angel. Slowly, though, he feels the boy's mind opening up to him, a steady release of all pretenses; his heightened senses feel the minute muscles of his body relax.

"…Yeah."

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We were dreamers not so long ago

But one by one we all had to grow up

The look in Lloyd's eyes, the uncertainty he radiates…Kratos resists the temptation to engulf Lloyd in his arms and sits down on the bed with him.

"Would you like me to stay with you until you fall asleep, then?" He admonishes himself for using such a strict tone with this boy…Anna's….

"K-Kratos? Are you sure? I hate to be a b-burden…." Yet even now, Kratos the Hero can sense that he truly needs company, a hand to hold…someone to love.

"No, Lloyd. You need all the rest you can to protect Colette. So…I'll help you get back to sleep."

The boy pauses, then nods. "…Okay. Kratos…thanks so much."

The man shakes his head, pulling the blankets around Lloyd again, almost to his shoulders. "Lay down and close your eyes, then."

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When it seems the magic slipped away

We find it all again on Christmas Day

"U-um, Kratos?"

"Hn?" Kratos looks down into the innocent brown eyes…eyes that shine with determination when he wields his sword, with tenderness as he looks at his friends.

"Can…can I lay my head on your lap? I…my pillow is cold." The boy looks away, almost ashamed, it seems. Kratos pauses, his mouth opening slightly; again he moves back to another place, another world, except it's summer, and beautiful out and there are stars….

"Kratos?"

"Hu—oh. Yes, s—Lloyd. Of course." The boy beams at him; all Kratos sees is the joyful grin of a child, a two-year old who frolicked with him in the reddening leaves.

"Thanks, Kratos." The boy lays his head down on Kratos' lap, yawning. More pretenses are falling away, the hero thinks. No. I can't get attached to him again, I can't—

But the eyes are drooping slightly, trying to stay awake…and Kratos loses his heart again to his son. And once again he experiences the agony of loving a child he cannot have…cannot confess his unyielding paternal loyalty to.

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Believe in what your heart is saying

Hear the melody that's playing

"…I…feel silly." Lloyd looks up at the redheaded man, with soft eyes, like—

"For what?" The memory is shunted aside by instinct. He cannot visit that part of his mind. Not yet. "For feeling fear, for once since I've been with you? For having a nightmare? For needing someone rather than someone needing you?" He smiles slightly. "We are friends, Lloyd. Don't friends help one another?"

"Yeah…that's true." He sighs and smiles. "But I had a really bad dream…about my mom…how Mom died."

Kratos stiffens. "Your mother…."

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There's no time to waste

There's so much to celebrate

"Yeah." He smiles, sort of. "I sorta dreamed…there was this big monster that was going to eat my mom. And Noishe…he was carrying me away, and I wanted to go back, I had to help her, and then…."

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"Kill me…for him…for me…." Her face flickers in his mind, and tears come to his eyes, unbidden; he blinks them back.

"Then what?"

Lloyd's face darkened, which looked cute in the throes of drowsiness…but Kratos knows better….much better.

"A man…c..came…and I thought he…he was gonna save her…but he drew a sword and…and…." He smiles sleepily again. "Kratos…you're stroking my hair…."

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Believe in what you feel inside

And give yourself the wings to fly

The man starts, drawing his hand away from the soft brown hair he had instinctively began to run his fingers through. His face becomes contorted with disgust and horror and—

Oh, god…his hands are covered with Anna's blood.

"Why'd you stop?" comes a sleepy reply.

"I'm sorry…I thought you didn't like it."

"No, no," Lloyd chuckles, looking like his goofy self once more. "I like it. I know…know you aren't…queer, like that. You're so much like a brother to me, Kratos…so don't stop, okay? Not until I fall asleep."

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You have everything you need

If you just believe

Kratos only nods and returns to his duty of stroking Lloyd's soft brown hair…so much like his Anna's. He could see her face through the monster she had become…agonized and sorrowful. The boy smiles and closes his brown eyes, smirking to himself as he hears the surf pound against a boat. "Sounds like another boat…going or coming? Tell me, Kratos."

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Trains move quickly to their journey's end

Destinations are where we begin again

"…It doesn't matter. Any journey has a destination, Lloyd…and we begin from our destinations and travel again. So you see, it doesn't matter. Everything…is one long big journey."

The boy smiles. "You do a lot of thinking, buddy."

Yes. Yes he has. For four thousand years…four hundred and sixteen…including the three years he had with Anna…and Lloyd….little Lloyd.

The Lloyd that is screaming so annoyingly to him now….

"…I guess so."

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Ships go sailing far across the sea

Trust in starlight to get where they need to be

There is silence…but in that silence, there is also tenderness. Little by little, Kratos senses him falling asleep, slowly but surely, as his breathing becomes easier and choppy.

"…Th…th…thank…s."

"?" Kratos looked down at him, looking confused. The boy tries to lift his eyes; he places his hands on Lloyd's eyes, closing them. "Hush. Go to sleep, Lloyd.

"N…nah…thank you…f…for st…staying with me." His voice is practically a breath of air, his face lacking the features of fear and apprehension he had seen only a few moments before. "I…I f-feel…li…like…like I…I'm fl…fl……….."

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When it seems the magic slipped away

We find it all again on Christmas Day

The boy falls silent. Kratos waits for him to say something more…anything more. But soft snores are all that follow after Lloyd's gratitude. There is no doubt about it. He was asleep; looking so much like the young child he had known years ago…the child he had shown the stars, first when he was too young to talk…then when he was three, a year before that….

Kratos shakes his head; his had does not leave Lloyd's head. He knows he can leave at any time, but…for now, he just wants to stay here…by Lloyd…to try and reclaim some of that serendipity he lost. Bowing his head, he begins a lullaby.

"Hush, my baby, please don't weep

but look upon the Pleadies

and warrior Mithos, brave and strong

to stay by you till morning dawns…."

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Believe in what your heart is saying

Hear the melody that's playing

He continues to sing as he lifts the swordsman's head up from his lap, moving so that he can lay the boy's head on the pillow. Tears stream from his eyes now, unbidden, unrestrained.

"And don't forget that I am here

to hold your hand and hold you near

so take my finger, close your eyes,

while Pa—Pa—"

He can't continue as he chokes.

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There's no time to waste

There's so much to celebrate

Through the darkness, a whisper.

"Pa…Pa…."

Kratos stops, stunned, frozen. Was he awake—?!!

But he only rolls over and sighs, beginning to snore a little louder.

And then love fills his heart, paternal love, so much that it hurts and will burst his heart. In a faltering voice, he sings the last verse.

"As Papa sings this lullaby…."

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Believe in what you feel inside

And give your dreams the wings to fly

Kratos throws the covers aside, casting away his sword. Pride could wait. Lloyd needed him now.

No…his son.

His son needed him….

He lays down beside the boy, almost pulling back as Lloyd puts his arms around him and sighs blissfully.

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You have everything you need

If you just believe….

Four words, whispered…but one could've sworn if he just turned his head and listened to the wind, he could hear an edict….

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If you just believe

If you just believe

If you just believe….

"I love you, Lloyd…I love you, my son."

Then all was still.

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Just believe

Just believe….


End file.
